when i requested to move out on my own, i never thought of it as bravado or even conceitedness that i could handle my own life. i just wanted to be independent, and i wanted to show someone, anyone, that i could do this. it's only now, seven months on my own, that i fathomed that this whole idea was really a cry for independence and control despite the relatively smooth-sailing life my parents planned for me i had. living alone in an apartment is definitely different from being at home with mommy's pampering and the housekeeper taking care of every little detail, from the cooking to the cleaning. living alone requires maturity, responsibility and foresight - the ability to lead a solitary life, to recognize that you are in the driver's seat of your life, and that planning ahead is essential when you're only receiving an allowance from daddy dearest - juggling expenditures while you restrain yourself from asking the folks for more. it's only now when i'm living all by myself that i realize that i've taken the comfort and ease in my life for granted, even though i thought i hadn't. funny, i feel miserable without that solid support system that is family but yet i'm happy too. i guess it's the laugh-cry syndrome - i may be experiencing some form of hardship now but i know it's only going to be temporary and it'd be good for me in the long run. i'll be stronger in spirit, right?

it's almost an indulgence to sit in front of the mac, typing an inane prose about something random and enjoying a tub of maeda-en green tea ice cream at the same time. it's some time early in august, with just that little bit of cool sunshine and warm breeze left before school starts and fall comes. i'm really looking forward to my next semester of college; i've got some interesting lessons lined up and a bunch of new frilly dresses, short boots and embellished heels to parade around in. i'm particularly looking forward to my module on artistic and musical history and ideas being the dilettante that i am. with some luck, there might be artistic people in my class who share my love of chopin and renoir... z is starting to fray at the nerves listening to my incessant rant on them. (sorry hun!)

i'm apologizing in advance if my journal is seemingly devoid of an abundance of pictures. mainly because of my (usual) lassitude and procrastination, i envision myself filling this site with more words than images, although i do look with admiration at the many blogs that proliferate with multitudinous pictures like the flowering of dandelions after a spring shower, and secretly hope that i shall have the passion and eagerness to add to that plethora of youthful exuberance too. hopefully, you - my dear anonymous reader - will have the chance to see some of my eclecticism at work.

for now, it's back to that heavenly concoction and a possible glass of pinot noir. à bientôt!